MY MISTAKES HAVE BEEN MY OWN FOOLHARDY BELIEF OF MY OWN VALUE BECAUSE OF THE EGOTISTICAL MANS BEING WHICH IS OUR TRUE DOWNFALL.
MY OWN FRAGILE EGO
FEAR DRIVEN TO PLAY LIKE A BIGGER THREAT TO OTHER MEN WHO ONLY SAW MY INFERIORITY COMPLEX
IN BRAVADO AND ARROGANT SELF IDEATION WISHING TO BE MORE THAN THE TRASH THAT EVEN MEN EVEN SAW IN ME.
YES I AM HARD TO LEARN AND NOTHING CAPABLE OF LIVING IN EVEN THE SWILL OF WHITE AMERICAN SYNTHETIC OPULENCE.
NOTHING BUT A STREET URCHIN WHO FELL VICTIM TO HEROIN AND ITS SUICIDAL DEATH WHICH MY BODY WOULD NOT DIE IN OVERDOSE LIKE I DESERVED
NOT EVEN A GOOD SUICIDAL SUCCESS WITH FOURTY YEARS DOING ANYTHING TO JUST LAY IN MY OWN GRAVE WHICH I DUG WITH PLEASURE TO ESCAPE MY OWN LACK OF ANYTHING OF VALUE.
NO MY HARD HEADED MISTAKE DRJVEN EDUCATION WAS THE OVERDOSE WITH HALF A NEEDLE FULL OF THE SHOT THAT I COULD NOT EVEN GET INTO MY OWN ARM BEFORE FALLING OUT.
WAKING UP NO LESS THAN EIGHT TIMES FROM THAT VERY SAME OVERDOSE TO ONLY FEEL SHOVING THE LAST HALF IN AS SOON AS I WOKE UP FIVE HOURS LATER HAVING BEEN UNCONSCIOUS AND LIKELY COMATOSE STATE OF SUSPENDED BRAIN FUNCTION OF UNDETERMINED LENGTH OF BEING WITHOUT BRAIN FUNCTION DEMANDED OXYGEN JN MY OWN LUNGS.
THAT IS WHY I AM JUST CONTINUING MY HARD HEADED PRESUMPTION DRIVEN ARROGANT EGOCENTRIC WILL TO WISH FOR BEING SOMETHING MORE THAN THE BRAIN DEAD AND SOUL EMPTY VOID THAT IS WHAT MY MAN LIFE AFFORDED ME.
UNIVERSALLY DREAMING OF BEING A PREDATOR WHICH WAS SIMPLY THE BEST OF MY OWN LIFE EXISTENCE HIGHEST SELF AWARENESS.
SO MAN IN THINKING THAT SMILES FROM SIMPLY KIND BEAUTIFUL WOMEN WERE MISTAKEN FOR ADMIRERS AT MY TINY WORTHLESS AMERICAN TRAILER TRASH WHICH WAS MY BASELINE.
TRASH CAN NEVER DWELL IN THE HOUSE IF A WOMAN AND OF ALL TRASH I AM THAT IN THE LEAST OF ALL MY OPTIONS TO SUCK AN EXISTENTIAL LIFE FROM THE STREETS WHICH REAL WEALTHY MEN DRIVE TO SUMMER HOMES.
I SIMPLY LEARNED TO LIVE OFF OF ASPHALT AND CONCRETE AS A SPECIAL TYPE OF PARASITIC BEING AS MY OWN REAL NATURE.
OF COURSE IM NOT WORTHY OF ANY QUEEN
I AM JUST THE ROACH OF AMERICANS SUCCESS STORY WHO DREAMED HE WAS MORE THAN A MONKEY AND WHO FOUND OUT I WAS EVEN LESS VALUABLE THAN THE MONKEYS I SO DESPISE.
BECAUSE DESPITE ALL EVIDENCE AND FACTUAL EXISTENCE AS A LEECH OFF THE IRON AND ASPHALT JUNGLE WHICH ONLY THE SCRAPS OF AMERICAN SUCCESS IN WEALTH.
MY HOMELESS SPIRIT ALWAYS DREAMED OF BEING SOMETHING MORE
WHICH NOT EVEN SHIT EATING FLIES HAVE AS A FAULT. I LIVED THINKING I WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL WHEN I WAS ACTUALLY PROVEN TO BE JUST A COCKROACH IN THE LAND OF MEN.
WHO HATED ME BECAUSE OF MY WORTHLESSNESS WHICH WAS THE SIMPLE TRUTH IN THAT I WAS JUST A TICK WHO BELIEVED HE WAS A BUTTERFLY.
WHICH WOULD BE FAR HIGHER SPECIES THAN MY OWN VAMPIRE LEECH WAS EVEN AWARE ENOUGH TO REALIZE EXACTLY WHY THE MEN WHO DESPISED ME WERE FAR MORE OF WORTHY HUSBANDRY AT BASE LINE MAN EDUCATION.
I COULD NOT EVEN BE NORMAL IN SCHOOL BECAUSE I WAS SO CONSUMED WITH MY OWN DYSFUNCTIONAL IDEATION OF BEING MORE THAN I ACTUALLY WAS.
THAT IS MY WHOLE FIFTY YEARS THINKING I WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL WHEN WOMEN HAD NO DESIRE FOR ME BECAUSE THEY WOULD NOT WANT MY LICE OF REALITY SIMPLY DESERVING OF ERADICATION BECAUSE I WAS ONLY THE BLOOD SUCKING EXISTENTIAL VAMPIRE OF MY OWN SEXUAL DESIRES WHEN I WAS NOTHING MORE THAN A TERMITE TO EVERY SINGLE WOMAN WHO WAS JUST KIND IN SMILING AND BEING GENUINELY WISHING TO NOT HURT MY FEELINGS.
I AM THE HOME SCHOOLED CHILD WHO GOT HIS EDUCATION FROM STREET JUNKIE IDIOT WISH TO BE SOMETHING ANY MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THE PEST WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND KINDNESS AT ALL.
NOPE I TOOK KINDNESS FOR INTEREST AND THAT BY DEFINITION IS EXACTLY WHAT A TRUE PARASITE DOES. THE SNAIL HAS A PARASITE THAT TAKES OVER ITS BRAIN AND I DID NOT EVEN HAVE THE WHEREWITHAL OR SIMPLE UNDERSTANDING THAT THE QUEEN OF YOUR PROMS WAS A CREATION WHICH I FELL IN LOVE WITH JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS JUST A NICE PERSON.
NOT A WOMAN WHO IS INTERESTED IN INFESTATION OF A ROACH OF AMERICAN STREET LIFE WITHOUT THE FORTITUDE TO EVEN THINK REALITY WAS NOT MY DREAMER STRETCHING TO REACH THE HIGHER SELF MY OWN CORRUPTED MIND ALLOWING MY PATHETIC CLINGING TO A REAL HIGHER BEING WHO JUST SMILED AT THE CROSS WALK JUST TO TRY TO KEEP ME FROM GRABBING HER IN MY GARBAGE ARMS SHE CLEARLY KNEW OF MY PEST SELF LACK OF AWARENESS.
IN PRETEND AND DELUSIONAL SENSE OF NOT WANTING TO BE WHAY THE MEN AND WOMEN ALL SAW CLEARLY AND THEY DEFINITELY WERE BETTER THAN ME TO A MAN.
IT IS ALWAYS A PARASITE WHICH FEEDS OFF THE BLOOD OF THE ANIMALS WHO LIKE CATTLE WITH FLIES PEOPLE KNEW WHAT I DID NOT OF MY OWN LOWLY FERAL PARASITE WHICH CLINGING TO THEIR BEINGS WAS BY DEFINITION OF WHAT A PARASITE ACTUALLY IS.
AND MY PROMISE OF BEING EVEN EQUAL TO ALL THE HIGHER STATE OF REAL EXISTENTIAL CLASSIFICATION PEOPLE IN SOCIETY KNOW SIMPLY IS THE NASTY. VERMIN FEEDING OFF THE BLOOD OF A BEING WHICH BY COMPARISON TO MY OWN MISTAKEN SELF WORTH DUMBNESS A FLEA ON A DOG KNOWS IT IS THE PARASITE AND EVEN THOSE DO NOT CLING TO THEIR HOSTS WHICH THOSE PARASITES DOES NOT BELIEVE THE FLEA IS ANYTHING BUT A MILD NUISANCE.
WHICH MY PARTICULAR SPECIES IS NOT EVEN SMART ENOUGH NOT TO KNOW BETTER THAN TO DRAIN THEIR HOSTS IN THE WAY I DID WITH EVERY STEP I TOOK. MY LIFE HAS BEEN WASTED SELF ACTUALIZATION IF BEING A VAMPIRE WHICH WAS THE BEST VERSION OF ALL PARASITE BEINGS WHICH I FANTASIZED OF BEING.
THE CLEARLY PESTERING VERMIN I AM IS THE ONLY FOOL OF ALL THE WORLDS PARASITE GENOME SPECIES OF BUGS WHO KNOW THEIR ROLE AND WERE SMARTER THAN MY OWN SINGLE CELL PEST WITHOUT ITS OWN LIMITATIONS IN MY OWN DREAMING OF BEING SOMETHING BETTER.
WHEN MY RIGHTFULLY JUDGED SCABIES WERE SEEN BY THE MEN AND WOMEN AND CHILDREN WHO I BELIEVED I WAS MORE THAN.
WHEN TBEIR CLEAR DISGUST IN MY EXISTENCE WAS SIMPLY BECAUSE I BELIEVED THE MEN AND ESPECIALLY WOMEN KNEW WITHOUT EVER TALKING WITH ME THAT I WAS NOT EVEN A GOOD JUNKIE LEECH. NO I LIVED ON THE STREETS THINKING I WAS TOUGHER THAN THE HIGHER FOOD CHAIN MEN WHO WERE WITHOUT THE DOUBT IF MY REAL PEST VAMPIRE INSECT THAT DREAMED I WAS A WORM WHICH FORMED INTO A COCOON THAT BIRTHED AN EVOLVED INSECT WITH THEY WINGS OF A BUTTERFLY.
EVEN THE GRASSHOPPER AND THE ANT KNEW THEIR TRUE SELVES AND THEY ARE A SPECIES AT LEAST ONE STEP UP THE PLANETARY CLASSIFICATION LADDER THAN MY VERMIN OF THE LEAST CLASSIFICATION.
TOO BLIND TO SEE EVEN MY OWN REFLECTION BEING THE TICK AND VAMPIRE LEECH THAT SUCKED LIFE OUT OF ITS HOST BECAUSE OF BEING TOO INSIGNIFICANT TO HAVE ANY SENSE OF MY OWN ROLE IN THE WORLD POPULATION.
THE DIGESTIVE TRACT WORM WHICH IS MY TRUEST SELF IN THE EARTH OF MEN AND ANIMALS WHO FEED ONLY TO SURVIVE.
MY KIND OF PARASITE IS THE ONE WHO KNOWS NOT EVEN TO KEEP ITS OWN FOOD SOURCE SELF SUSTAINING BECAUSE OF DREAMING OF BEING A BETTER BEING WAS THAT OF REAL VAMPIRISM WHO MY ROMANTIC PEST MIND BELIEVED I COULD ACT AS IF I WERE THE ROMANTIC LOVERS KF ALL TIME WHO KNEW THEIR QUEENS WERE ONLY WORTHY OF BEING THE MONSTER WHO NEVER TAKES A VICTIM.
EVEN THE VAMPIRES OF MONSTER STORIES KNEW BETTER THAN THE WORM I ACTUALLY AM AND THAT ONE STUPID FALSEHOOD OF MY OWN IMAGINATION WAS ABLE TO FOOL ME IN ITS ALLOWANCE OF ME TALKING LIKE A DRAGON OF A WARRIOR WHEN I WAS THE TAPEWORM IN THOSE VAMPIRES OWN FECAL MATTER.
I AM THE WORM WHICH OTHER HIGHER BEINGS PARASITIC REALITY KNEW I WAS THE WHITE WORM WHICH DWELLED IN LIVING OFF THE WASTED UNDESIRABLE NOURISHMENT WASTE BYPRODUCT INSIDE THE EXCREMENT OF THE INTESTINES OF FLEAS.
NO DRAGON IN ME AT ALL AND THE PEOPLE WHO HAD TO DEAL WITH MY TRASHY EXISTENCE COULD NOT EVEN STOMACH MY EVEN TRYING TO JUMP ONTO A BETTER BEING IN EVOLUTION TO LOVE LIKE THE BEST MAN A WOMAN EVER MET WHO WAS JUST PLAYING AN IDIOT WHO DID NOT EVEN HAVE THE AWARENESS OF BEING THE SHIT THAT EVEN THE WOMAN WHO GAVE BIRTH TO THE MAN I WAS COULD NOT LOVE BECAUSE I WAS THE UNWANTED DISEASED BEING SHE GAVE BIRTH TO AFTER A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH MAN WHO SIRED MY BEGINNING WITH HIS SEED.
THAT SAME MAN KNEW I WAS NOTHING BUT A PIECE OF SHIT WHEN I COULD DO NOTHING WORTHY OR RIGHT ENOUGH TO BE ANYTHING MORE THAN HIS VERY DISAPPOINTED REALIZATION THAT HE HAD FATHERED A WASTED SKIN BEING WHICB WAS GOING TO SUCK THE LIFE OUT OF THE PARENTS WHO I DID NOTHING EVEN WORTHY OF ANY SENSE OF PRIDE TO THE HATRED MY PARENTS HAVING SPAWNED A TRULY SUB HUMAN DISEASE CARRYING LEAST OF ALL THE WORLDS PARASITE KINGDOM.
I AM THE PARASITE WHICH IS NOT EVEN THE LOWLY ORDER OF BEINGS WHICH DID MORE TO HELP THEIR HOST SURVIVE THEIR FEEDING BECAUSE OF HAVING ENOUGH SENSE WHICH I HAD NOT EVEN AN IDEA ABOUT. MAYBE MONKEYS ARE MEN ON THIS PLANET BUT I AM AN INTESTINAL INFESTATION OF SHIT EATING SUSTENANCE THAT MADE ME KNOW NOTHING OF BEING AND MY OWN INSANE LACK OF SELF ACTUALIZATION IN REAL TIME SMART PEST LIFE ON THE BASELINE I WAS NOT EVEN AS HIGH ON THE EVOLUTION LADDER AS THE WORMS WHICH FEED INSIDE THE INTESTINES OF CATS FROM SWALLOWING FLEAS WHO ARE A BETTER CLASS OF PEST WHICH I KNEW NOT MY OWN MISERABLE AND TRULY UGLY LIFE AS A LEECH OF SHIT JUICES IN THE EXCREMENT CARRYING INTESTINES THINKING I WAS LIVING AS A STAR.
NOT THIS PARASITE AT ALL. MY SELF PRETENDING DID ONLY FOOL ONE “PERSON”…. ME.
IM THE ONLY FOOL WHO THOUGHT HE COULD FOOL LIONESSES WHO WERE THE BEAUTIFUL CREATURE WHO WOMEN CLOSELY RESEMBLED THE QUEEN OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM WHOM I DEEMED MYSELF BETTER THAN AVERAGE MAN WHEN THEY CLEARLY KNEW MY GARBAGE LIFE WORTH WHICH MADE THEM HATE ME BECAUSE I WAS JEALOUS OF THE MEN WHO WERE LOVED WHICH I SAW AS AWFUL YET I COULD NOT EVEN PRETEND TO BE ANYTHING LESS THAN THE LEAST OF THE WORST MEN IN MY OWN STUPIDITY WHO KNEW I WAS A JUNKIE WHO WANTED TO RIDE THE WOMEN WHO WERE FAR BETTER SERVED BY THE WORST OF ALL THOSE MEN.
I AM RIGHT
WE ARE NOTHING THE SAME SPECIES BECAUSE I AM A WORM IN THE TRASH OF PARASITIC HIGHER BEINGS TO MY LEAST OF ALL THE TICKS AMD LEECHES WHICH ARE CLOSER TO DIVINE VAMPIRES THAN THE MAN I AM WHO ACTED LIKE A VAMPIRE WHEN I WAS JUST BARNYARD FODDER FOUND IN PIG PENS. FROM BEING EJECTED BY THE SWINES OWN FECAL MATERIAL I WAS NOT EVEN WORTHY OF SURVIVING OFF OF THE PIGS SHIT.
I AM JUST A LUNATIC WHO KNOWS NOTHING OF HIS OWN EXISTENTIAL PLACE IN THE LADDER UP THE CLASSIFICATION AND WHO WITH SHIT ON HIS BREATH REEKING OF PIG SHIT I MADE UP MY WORLD WHERE I WAS THE KING IF SOME KINGDOM ALL MADE UP IN MY SPOILED THINKING MIND.
IT TAKES REAL TRASH TO THINK OF BEING BIGGER BY FAR THAN THE VERY SAME MEN AND WOMEN WHO DID EVERYTHING TO TELL ME WHAT I WAS AND THE HATRED ALL MANKIND HAS OF ME IS BECAUSE I AM JUST A FERAL VIRUS OF REAL PEOPLE WHO SAW ME THROUGH ALL FACADES MY MASKS AND MY ABILITY TO WRITE REALLY AWFUL STORIES OF ENJOYING MY INSANITY BECAUSE IT MADE ME FEEL LIKE A MAN.
AND I AM NOT EVEN THE WORST OF THEM.
I AM THE HERPES OF WOMANS LIFE AND I THOUGHT BECAUSE THEY DID NOT TELL ME I WAS SHIT LIVING JN AN ACT OF KINDNESS WHEN SHE SHOULD HAVE EXTERMINATION ONLY WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO INFECT A SINGLE HUMAN.
I AM THE WORST OF ALL CREATURES DARK AND WRETCHED ANDI AM FINALLY SMART ENOUGH TO JUST KNOW IM A TRASH BEING.
THAT IS MY HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS AS THIS SHIT HUMAN EXCREMENT EATER TRULY TOOK FIFTY YEARS JUST TO LEARN WHAT I AM IN NATURAL ORDER.
MY DREAMING SENSE OF LACK OF SELF ESTEEM WAS A STRUGGLE I ADOPTED THAT I HAD NO STAKE TO EVEN CLAIM AND I DID WORSE THAN ANYONE AT BEING THE SIMPLE FATHER TO MY OWN CHILD WHO HATES ME THIRTY YEARS OF HER LIFE AND MY ATTEMPT TO BE HER FATHER WHEN EVEN SHE KNOWS IM TRASH AND HATES ME BECAUSE OF THE TRASH I PUT INTO HER BEING.
I AM THE WORST MAN IN ALL OF CREATION AND STILL THINKING I AM ANYTHING LOVABLE EVEN WITH ALL OF NARCOTICS ANONYMOUS PEOPLE WHO WERE DEADLY ACCURATE OF MY FILTH THAT WAS THE DEAD TO RIGHTS ONLY REAL WORTHY SUICIDAL SUCCESS STORY I COULD NOT EVEN ACHIEVE.
THAT MAKES ME SEE IN ALL CLARITY HOW I AM SIMPLY AWFUL AND PRESUMPTION HEAVY IN LUNACY IN MY SELF CHOSEN WORTHY OF BEING ABLE TO LIVE DESPITE THE WORLD MAKING IT PERFECTLY CLEAR THAT I WAS SHIT AND NEEDED TO SYOP TALKING BUT MORE IMPORTANT NEEDED TO KILL MYSELF BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT A GOOD PARASITE DOES.
I AM NOT EVEN A GOOD PARASITE.
THAT TOOK ME FIFTY YEARS TO LEARN WITH EVERY SINGLE PERSON TELLING ME AND MAKING SURE I FELT BECAUSE OF MY INAPPROPRIATE DREAM WORLD THAT SHOULD HAVE JUST CEASED TO EXIST.
THAT WOULD MAKE ME THE BEST VERSION OF MY TRUEST AND ACTUAL SELF BEING MEANT TO BE LEFT BEHIND THE DUMPSTER WHICH I TOOK PRIDE IN SHOOTING HEROIN INSIDE.
LOWEST OF ALL THE LEAST VIRUSES BECAUSE EVEN THE FLU BUG KNOWS IT MUST MUTATE TO SURVIVE WHICH I COULD NOT EVEN GRASP FOR FIFTY WHOLE YEARS OF EVERY ONE OF YOU TELLING ME IN EVERY ACTION YET I TOOK THEIR GENEROSITY OF LYING TO MY FACE AND SAYING I LOVE YOU WHICH WAS WORSE THAN LOVING A ROCK IN YOUR SHOE.
EVEN A ROCK KNOWS ITS PLACE.
I AM DUMBER THAN A ROCK THINKING I AM A MOUNTAIN.
ISNT THAT REAL MAN DISGRACE IN BELIEVING MY OWN LIES ENOUGH TO THINK I HAD ANYTHING LARGER THAN A TINY INSIGNIFICANT ROCK IN A SHOE WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN A SUCCESSFUL SUICIDE TO BE THE BEST ME I ACTUALLY COULD ACHIEVE AND I DREAMED OF BEING A MUSICIAN…
JUST A JUNKIE DUMBER THAN THE MONKEY WHICH I CHOSE TO CARRY BECAUSE I COULD NOT BEAR THE
Truth…
LOVE IS LONG DEAD 