Dudes and dudettes
If you only knew what I know
I have loved and adored all of you
And you even hated my baby newborn self so much
That by four you made me so ugly inside
I wept and just wished I would die
The baby me was a fucking bad ass
Living love machine
Standing in heartbreak every second
Just because my own mother hated me
So everybody got to hate me well
Really well they freely hunted and killed me
Granny even so wicked as to yank my body by the hair
If I wouldn’t catch up
You let the world fucking hunt my soul
As every monster inside the desert crypts
Filled with three year old nightmare monsters
Demons lived in my head and seeing my mother
And seeing my beloved brother Devin
Chained up inside being swarmed by werewolves
And vampires and the horrible gargoyles
Hanging as I watched helplessly outside the cold dead steel bars
My demon riddled human huntress and those godawful weremen who used my body while watching porn
Then force my body to be cuddled by a man in no way a father
Albeit in my life these weremen preachers and teachers and sitters
And boyfriend and grandfather and older brothers
All so liberal with torture and family dinners celebrating with all who grinned their fangs and chuckled inside his hairchested non god like savages in wolfs clothing
While Sheepy creepers in relatives feeding me liquid to shut me up
Those motherfuckers who allowed my mother to so constantly try to kill me for bothering her
Who watched grandpa Eddie stare me down with knowing daggers
I could have not one moment of shelter
You allowed a woman who killed my older brother and got to add his death
To her broken spiritual soul who I am so sad had to live with that
I no longer wish to hate her, I can only mourn her soul
I didn’t know better at all and spent my whole life needing her to just one time remember the baby I was born
Who I now returned my own recollections of B my inadequacy
My own agreement that you were right and I am only worth a heroin death
I stopped listening
Because God sang to me
And I am something else entirely
And just a checker experience makes GOOD PEOPLE
Tell me what a nice guy I am
Cause I quit trying to find One if you to act like which I agreed only worthy of dying
And I stopped listening to your small time psycho babble
Just pure nonsense and self assuming
Real smart sheep
Cause you walk around now letting everybody know you can’t give one fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a instant of thought with reason
So far out of your awareness and you read and read and read getting more good smarts with Dunce caps and whirlybird propeller on top
So smart that reading words you know of nothing in meaning
So if you think I write nothing and I am nothing
I know I do not give a fraction of a fraction of a molecular fuck
About what you think
Cause you dumb cunts checked out long ago
And all words have no meaning to you
And this shit I write is dense with emotional response of self awareness
Of God given sight and truthful vengeance
If which I am a significant
NEMESIS
A RIGHTEOUS INFLICTION OF RETRIBUTION
DELIVERED BY AN APPROPRIATE AGENT
WHICH IS PERSONIFIED IN ONE HORRIBLE AND WICKEDLY TREACHEROUS CUNT
NAMELY
ABEL PROPHETT
If YOUVE made it this far and are right here with me
GOD BLESS YOU AND START DONT MAKING NONSENSE FOR HEAVENS SAKE
BECAUSE IF YOU HEAR IT OR DO NOT
I HAVE NOT ONLY HEARD THE CRIES
BUT I ALSO ALWAYS CRIED UNHEARD AND PUNISHED ANY WAY
CERTAINLY HAVING BEEN GIVEN SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT
AND IF YOU HEAR MY MELODIES
THEN LETS START MAKING LIVING LOVING HEALING AND DRYING IF SOUL TEARS
AND POSITIVELY STOP FUCKING EACH OTHER
Just embrace our inner beauty
And living dreams come true
In stead instead of staying exactly the goddamned same selfless
Soulless and the void of space between the stars
Instead of in stead choosing to make yourself feel
So ugly inside of everyone our intelligence counter intelligent and sensual sensical stubbornness of dead space
In place
Where only love resides
Spraying our empty living void loved dead and deaf and blind and dumb and thicknesses of skulls
And I hope your right here
With me now
Cause I love you so much
I only want to give you you
I would never want anything taken from you
And I will die for you
To fly as you are and shining so bright
The sun wears glasses
Because beautiful soul we should make love always
Giving unabashedly love that even half a world away you can fill someone with raptures so beautiful
Just by saying I was
Thinking of you
Rather than leaving someone awaiting your thoughts
Dying a blacked heroin death
Loved ugliness inside
I hate so much how you feel inside
With vengeance I hate how you feel inside
And I am coming for you
And you won’t see me
Because I am a fucking
JUGGERNAUTS MASTERY WITH POWER YOU GET LEVELED FROM ONE LETTER
You won’t know is your doom
Because God carried me through your hell in corpses dressed like parasites of soul
And I’m so fucking capable of bad and one snicker of mine
Cripples you inside
Feeling bent the fuck in half as a lunatic demon vampires kingship
I am sovereign to your language having not chosen to love words
But left alone with only words
To find the meaning of…
How can you let them hurt me
Why do you hate me so much
Which was the language none of you understood
So you just took me as screaming at you
And said I’m listening and looking me in the eyes
While doing word searches inside your head
Knowing what words look like
Too dumb to put them together
And make any retarded step up
Making sense of those words you just have to say
Without a fucking clue what you are saying
So saying hey fuck you and die you ugly waste of human skins
You bake in Betty Crocker ovens and icing sugar with gumdrops and cinnamon candy covered and dressing pretty on silver platters made by Rubbermaid
And drive over just to deliver it super specially god like and all
Ring the fucking door bell
Say here you go I made this just because I was thinking about you so fondly
It’s a cake I made specially for you in my hearts kitchen
I call it
I LOVE YOU
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LOVE IS LONG DEAD 